Of polar temps and polarizing attempts and things that were seven years ago.

I’ve learned over the years that some of you hate when my reports are 10 times too long and others of you gripe when they’re just a few words but I’m not in a polarizing mood so I’ll lean today on my good friend, the one-sentence entry that’s arguably both and that will not be received particularly well by either the tl;dr crowd or whatever the acronym-slangy thing is for the other group, but I would lightly recommend you get to the bottom third of this one today even if you skip the rest, and, hey, we’ve dug out of sub-freezing temps finally and the days are getting longer and, therefore, baseball, and Texas has signed a former Royals outfielder, no, not that one, and I’m not buying this Lorenzo Cain talk because I’d be shocked if he found his market lacking in an Ian Desmond way and without that, well, not sure things line up, but the one former Royals outfielder who did sign with the Rangers was not only Cain’s outfield mate in Kansas City (2016) but also was Dallas Keuchel’s rotation mate at the University of Arkansas (2008–09), and it’s not entirely clear what Texas plans to do with Brett Eibner, who has 244 big league plate appearances and zero big league innings pitched and zero minor league innings pitched, but zero big league surgeries as a hitter and one as a pitcher, a Tommy John procedure he had done in August after the Dodgers had launched an effort away from the lights to convert him to the mound, and in those two Razorback seasons Eibner struck out 8.5 batters per nine innings (as a freshman and sophomore) while Keuchel fanned 6.4 per nine (as a sophomore and junior), and the reason, notably, that Texas has given Eibner a two-year minor league deal is because his 2018 is going to be mostly spent rehabbing and it would seem fair that if the organization is going to subsidize his recovery for a year that he would agree to contribute as a player for one as well, and listen, Eibner, even if he’s ultimately viewed as a hitter or a two-way player by the Rangers, does hit right-handed but that in no way helps the big league club this year and maybe never will, but seven years ago today Texas was pretty solid in left-handed hitting options (Hamilton, Moreland, Murphy, Davis, Borbon) and already had a third baseman (Young) and had reportedly been focused that winter on impacting the rotation (Lee) and, yet, seven years ago today (for a score, and that’s the end of this rotten Gettysburg bon mot, which in my own opinion is far more reprehensible than a run-on sentence), did this, which even the most optimistic of us underestimated at the time, and so, no, I don’t expect Texas to sign the 31-year-old Cain today, or whenever, but signing 31-year-olds on January 5 when the lineup could use another right-handed bat and the club already has someone in place at his position that it’s comfortable going to camp with and the front office is still presumably pitching-focused has worked before, at least once, not that any of us should be dedicated to the proposition that all 31-year-old free agent hitters are created equal (#Gettysburg).


Jamey Newberg

Dallas attorney Jamey Newberg has been commenting on Rangers from the big club down through the entire farm system since 1998.

Scott Lucas

Scott Lucas was born in Arlington, Texas, to Richard and Becky Lucas. He lived mostly in Arlington before moving to Austin, where he graduated from The University of Texas. Scott works for Austin Valuation Consultants, Ltd., and has published several boring articles about real estate appraisal and environmental contamination. He makes a swell margarita and refuses to run longer than ten kilometres.

Eleanor Czajka

Eleanor grew up watching the AAA Mudhens in Toledo, Ohio. A loyal Ranger fan since 1979, she works "behind the scenes" at the Newberg Report.

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