I've finally finished putting together the hashtag glossary that I’d been promising for about eight months. Thanks to reader Jeff Farr for combing through several years of Newberg Report tweets last summer to help me pull all this together.
I’ll try to update this as needed, and might even delete an entry or two down the road if they become irrelevant. Example: “Glaus vs. Grilli” was a Newberg Report meme as far back as May 2001, before hashtags and before memes, but the way Jason Grilli has inexplicably redefined his career, it just doesn’t have a useful context any more.
If you think I’ve missed any key hashtags that need to be defined, let me know – but for now, here we go.
Newberg Report Hashtag Glossary
11things, 10things, etc.: The number of subjects covered in a Newberg Report playoff game recap equals the number of victories left to win a ring. Here’s an example: http://www.newbergreport.com/article.asp?articleid=2451. The day I send out a report that starts out “No things” might be my Sopranos fade-to-black.
162+: Means several things in a Newberg Report context, but the hashtag usage typically refers to playoff baseball.
4tools: I love Mike Trout, but memo to adoring national press: He can’t throw.
AliciaKeys: Yunel Escobar.
Batpath: The good kind of Ian Kinsler swing. “Batpath” is the Jacob to “IKPU’s” Man in Black. I want to add here, for the record, that I love Ian Kinsler’s game.
Bigbag: Short for “great big bag of nothing.” Hasn’t surfaced all that often since Rich Harden’s stint in Texas came to a merciful end.
Bitchin': Mitch Moreland does something big. (Sometimes also "Fury unleashed.")
Bringit: I think I started using it during the December 2011 Winter Meetings: http://www.newbergreport.com/article.asp?articleid=2487
Can: Of whoop-ass, opened. Big offense.
CastleDoctrine: Protect your home turf. Deadly force permitted. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Castle_doctrine
CatBurglar: After a highlight Craig Gentry catch.
Cerberus: Originated with the Feliz-Adams-Uehara end game.
COFFEY: Twitter bat signal that a TROT COFFEY rumor dump was just sent by email to the subscriber list.
Courtsense: Baseball IQ.
CrUZR: The sabermetric and scouting camps don’t exactly see Nelson Cruz’s defensive effectiveness the same way. Well, maybe they do now.
DipotoSpeak: Angels GM Jerry Dipoto is the champion of publicly saying exactly what we shouldn’t believe.
DucksnortDynasty: It's indisputable, scientific fact that every ball that A.J. Pierzynski hits safely is a ducksnort (a bleeder over the infield that the outfield has no chance of getting to in time, often with shards of the bat flying everywhere) or a blast over a wall in fair territory.
F: Sometimes it’s short for “favorite.” Usually it’s short for something else.
Favorite: Adrian (Perez) Beltre.
Flagsflyforever (also FFF): No matter what Strop, Davis, Hunter, Smoak, Beavan, Erlin, Wieland, and others become, no regrets.
Flakjacket: Quickly put on after I’ve dared to say something critical of David Murphy.
Frosty: Juan Rivera (compare “defrosted”: The Yankees release Juan Rivera).
Gauche: Apparently you’re not supposed to care if your archrival loses games early in the season. http://www.newbergreport.com/article.asp?articleid=2575
G/F: Groundball/flyball rate.
Gflex: Short-lived, stupid nickname for Adrian Beltre, who’s prone to take a knee on his swing follow-through from time to time; short for “genuflection.”
Gloops: Japanese social application provider; term used interchangeably with “whoops,” “crap,” or “Oh, F.”
GSDP: Hasn’t been invoked since Jason Terry left the Mavericks. Great shooter, dumb player. Opposite of #courtsense, in a way. Translates to other sports.
Hacktasticness: Restless bat syndrome; uncontrollable (and usually exploited) urge to swing at anything. In marked decline since the emigration from Texas of the Angels’ new right fielder.
Hardcount: Reference to effort to hold one’s stance despite Twitter attempt to draw offsides.
HeCanDoThat: Tribute to Bob Ortegel’s catchphrase after a great player makes a great play.
HoldMe: Me, after a great player makes a great play.
HTRJ: Hit the Road, Jack – ode to a Jered Weaver exit from the game.
IKPU: Ian Kinsler pop-up. Compare “batpath.”
Itisitis: Elvis Andrus’s interview crutch (also, “theyaretheyare,” “itdiditdid,” “wewillwewill,” etc.). Heard less frequently these days. Doesn’t stop me.
LOL series: e.g., PorcelLOL, AngeLOLs buLOLpen, LOLiLOLOLibridge, Trout’s arLOLm.
Mancrush: Typically refers to Alberto Callaspo, though I’m not exactly sure why – my true baseball mancrush is on Joe Maddon.
MayaRudolph: Raul Ibanez.
Mayolate: O.J. Mayo’s routine late-in-the-game braincramps. Usually good for a handful of unfollows.
MedianFace: Derek Lowe’s face is the prototype big league pitcher face.
Mess: Hitter completely out of rhythm; easy mark.
MihiCuraFuturi: “The care of the future is mine.” http://www.newbergreport.com/estore/ebook.asp?id=1
NapoliEverAfter: I’m pretty sure you saw it here first, back in 2011.
OhShit: Parabolically captured in-game analysis provided by Adrian (Perez) Beltre.
OnTheList: Role players whom I’ve probably liked more than I should have over the years. List has included, at one time or another, Ben Zobrist, Gerardo Parra, Gregor Blanco, Matt Joyce, Alberto Callaspo, Michael Wuertz, Mike Aviles, Marco Scutaro, Josh Willingham, Brennan Boesch, Sean Rodriguez, Danny Valencia, Jack Hannahan, Kelvin Herrera.
OpenACan: Request that the offense go ahead and blow up the opposing pitcher.
Pixillate: Callback to the scene in “No Way Out” where the key picture starts to come into view.
Pizza: Seven runs, and Papa John’s is half-price the next day.
PLUM: Play unmade (not an error in the books).
PriceCheck: Keeping tabs on the Rays’ season in anticipation that they might put David Price on the trade market. Hashtag expected to have a shelf life of less than one year.
Pro: Jurickson Profar.
RallyMinka: If you were around in 2010, you know. If you weren’t, never mind.
Schadenfreude: http://www.thefreedictionary.com/schadenfreude (generally reserved in this context for bad things that happen to the Los Angeles Angels).
SciosciaUnrest: One particular exercise in schadenfreude. Compare SciosciaDarwinism, SciosciaMisfit, SciosciaDistortion.
SCOD: Sucky corner outfield defense.
Scwatching: Scoreboard watching (used almost exclusively when the Angels or A’s give up runs).
ScrewTheSaveRule (also ScrewTheWinRule): Get the right pitcher in the game, or out of it.
SDI: Shutdown inning; really should be limited to putting up a zero in the half-inning after the Rangers take a lead.
Secondfavorite: Elvis Augusto Andrus.
SlamDunkTwoPoints (also SD2P): A loss is just a loss, even if it’s a blowout. They all count the same.
Sleeps: Days until.
SlowClap: A little more subtle than a standing ovation, but often with the same (quiet) intensity.
SorryAboutBaseball: Usually offered to a pitcher whose effort went to waste because of bad defense or a sputtering offense.
Special: Label that, when put on a player by Rangers scouting legend Don Welke, says all you need to hear (also: “not normal”).
Sports: Sometimes a tweet by itself, usually after a massive win (or maybe a crushing loss). Your infield turns a ridiculous, mind-blowing double play to help your closer get out of a bases-loaded, one-out jam in the bottom of the ninth against your archrival, sealing a one-run win and extending your division lead to a game and a half with a week to go: "Sports." (Sometimes shows up as "Baseball.")
Stwatching: Standings watching (shorthand for when the Angels or A’s lose).
SwingAwayElvis: Seriously, stop bunting.
TheLineout: Reference to the August 20, 2012 Adrian Beltre lineout to shortstop that I thought signaled an imminent hot streak; Beltre hit .380/.419/.813 over his remaining 160 plate appearances of the season.
TheMattHarrisonTrade: Somewhat tongue-in-cheek reference to the trade that sent Mark Teixeira and Ron Mahay to Atlanta in July 2007 for Elvis Andrus, Harrison, Neftali Feliz, Jarrod Saltalamacchia, and Beau Jones. Offered during or after a great Harrison effort.
Treading: When Texas sits in first place and loses, but the Angels or A’s lose as well, so be it. It hurts the hunter more than the hunted.
TROT COFFEY: Acronym for "Trade Rumor Offerings To Chew On For Fun, Even Yuks." Mailing list-only update on various trade and free agent rumblings unearthed, if not hatched, by the media or player agents. These tend to dominate the Newberg Report output in November, December, and July, but they show up at some level all 12 months.
Umpshow: A Keith Law creation, I believe; refers to an umpire making himself the center of the game, in a Joey Crawford sorta way.
WTDG: Win the damn game.
WTDS: Win the damn series.
YCPB: You can’t predict ball.