I have nothing to say.
I mean, what is there to say?
I hope you saw it. I hope you saw it very much.
I just have nothing to say. Some works of art are better not broken down.
I had plenty to say last night, though. But since I’m guessing you either (1) follow me on Twitter already or (2) don’t give a flip about what I have to say on Twitter, this report isn’t so much for you as it is for me.
Because eight months from now, eight years from now, 30 years from now, I want to remember the visceral experience of that baseball game, and it’ll be a lot easier to flip to a page in a book than to try and hunt online for 30-year-old tweets.
So, dear me, these are the things I was thinking about and blurting out in 140 characters or less while watching the Texas Rangers play baseball on April 2, 2013:
7:38 pm #slidepiece
8:17 pm Pardon the weirdness, but something about Yu’s face reminds me of Thom Yorke.
8:19 pm It was a split-second look on his face right after the Altuve punchout.
8:20 pm #slidepiecin’ #babysgotthebends
8:38 pm Here comes the high-profile unfollow . . . . [@OldHossRadbourn: It is nice to see Y. Darvish perform against a NPB-quality team.]
8:39 pm #YuAndWhoseArmy #yuyorke
8:59 pm I remember thinking Craig Gentry was a poor man’s Peter Bourjos. Slow clap, Jay Eddings. #seniordraft #tommyjohn
9:01 pm I’d happily settle for a single. [@jwimpee: kinsler needs a tater trot with cheese.]
9:02 pm Or that! Wow. #kins
9:12 pm First changeup of the night – on pitch 85. Sick.
9:13 pm Those 11,000 tickets left for Sunday night are gonna disappear pretty quickly tomorrow.
9:38 pm For last two half-innings he’s looked at his hand a bunch as if there’s a blister developing.
9:48 pm I’ve never wanted Beltre to ground into a double play this badly, and surely never will again.
9:59 pm Yu Darvish is almost perfect at baseball.
10:08 pm Because of my kid’s ballgame, I missed the first inning. Knowing I probably would, I recorded the game. Yay me.
10:09 pm #WhereIEndAndYuBegin #doesntreallyfit #dontcare
10:26 pm I don’t think I can adequately explain how much @bracketdan is going to hate my next report.
10:42 pm Really did. And unafraid to call the buried slider w/2 strikes. [@ShutDownInning: How are you feeling about Pierzynski? Called heckuva game.]
10:52 pm $51,703,411.
10:57 pm #ImOnARoll #ItsGonnaBeAGloriousDay #ImYourSuperhero #yuyorke [@JeffWilson_FWST Darvish: “I think I got lucky today.”]
11:34 pm This is the tweet from 5 days ago that resulted in an unfollow that surprised me: https://twitter.com/NewbergReport/status/317435291650633729
11:40 pm Yu’s 2012 debut: 3 walks (& 4 hits) before recording his 2nd out. His 2013 debut: 0 walks (1st time) and 1 hit. 110 pitches/111 pitches.
11:47 pm That scout who saw Darvish in an April 2012 game, to @Ken_Rosenthal: “He’s going to give up a ton of hits . . . ” [more]
11:47 pm “A lot of his fastballs are very straight . . . ”
11:48 pm “The guy is supposed to throw hard. But he basically pitched at 89-92, touching 93-94 . . . . Pretty good in Japan. It’s not very good here . . . ”
11:48 pm “When he gets in trouble, he turns into a breaking-ball guy – nibble, nibble, he won’t let it go. He reminded me of Dice-K.” #gloops
12:36 am Yu. Ours. That’s all. #EverythingInItsRightPlace #Separator
— Love, me