I have nothing to say.
I mean, what is there to say?
I hope you saw it. I hope you saw it very much.
I just have nothing to say. Some works of art are better not broken down.
I had plenty to say last night, though. But since I’m guessing you either (1) follow me on Twitter already or (2) don’t give a flip about what I have to say on Twitter, this report isn’t so much for you as it is for me.
Because eight months from now, eight years from now, 30 years from now, I want to remember the visceral experience of that baseball game, and it’ll be a lot easier to flip to a page in a book than to try and hunt online for 30-year-old tweets.
So, dear me, these are the things I was thinking about and blurting out in 140 characters or less while watching the Texas Rangers play baseball on April 2, 2013:
7:38 pm #slidepiece
8:17 pm Pardon the weirdness, but something about Yu’s face reminds me of Thom Yorke.
8:19 pm It was a split-second look on his face right after the Altuve punchout.
8:20 pm #slidepiecin’ #babysgotthebends
8:38 pm Here comes the high-profile unfollow . . . . [@OldHossRadbourn: It is nice to see Y. Darvish perform against a NPB-quality team.]
8:39 pm #YuAndWhoseArmy #yuyorke
8:59 pm I remember thinking Craig Gentry was a poor man’s Peter Bourjos. Slow clap, Jay Eddings. #seniordraft #tommyjohn
9:01 pm I’d happily settle for a single. [@jwimpee: kinsler needs a tater trot with cheese.]
9:02 pm Or that! Wow. #kins
9:12 pm First changeup of the night – on pitch 85. Sick.
9:13 pm Those 11,000 tickets left for Sunday night are gonna disappear pretty quickly tomorrow.
9:38 pm For last two half-innings he’s looked at his hand a bunch as if there’s a blister developing.
9:48 pm I’ve never wanted Beltre to ground into a double play this badly, and surely never will again.
9:59 pm Yu Darvish is almost perfect at baseball.
10:08 pm Because of my kid’s ballgame, I missed the first inning. Knowing I probably would, I recorded the game. Yay me.
10:09 pm #WhereIEndAndYuBegin #doesntreallyfit #dontcare
10:13 pm
[Marwin!]
10:26 pm I don’t think I can adequately explain how much @bracketdan is going to hate my next report.
10:42 pm Really did. And unafraid to call the buried slider w/2 strikes. [@ShutDownInning: How are you feeling about Pierzynski? Called heckuva game.]
10:52 pm $51,703,411.
10:57 pm #ImOnARoll #ItsGonnaBeAGloriousDay #ImYourSuperhero #yuyorke [@JeffWilson_FWST Darvish: “I think I got lucky today.”]
11:34 pm This is the tweet from 5 days ago that resulted in an unfollow that surprised me: https://twitter.com/NewbergReport/status/317435291650633729
11:40 pm Yu’s 2012 debut: 3 walks (& 4 hits) before recording his 2nd out. His 2013 debut: 0 walks (1st time) and 1 hit. 110 pitches/111 pitches.
11:47 pm That scout who saw Darvish in an April 2012 game, to @Ken_Rosenthal: “He’s going to give up a ton of hits . . . ” [more]
11:47 pm “A lot of his fastballs are very straight . . . ”
11:48 pm “The guy is supposed to throw hard. But he basically pitched at 89-92, touching 93-94 . . . . Pretty good in Japan. It’s not very good here . . . ”
11:48 pm “When he gets in trouble, he turns into a breaking-ball guy – nibble, nibble, he won’t let it go. He reminded me of Dice-K.” #gloops
12:36 am Yu. Ours. That’s all. #EverythingInItsRightPlace #Separator
Love Yu.
— Love, me
Dallas attorney Jamey Newberg has been commenting on Rangers from the big club down through the entire farm system since 1998.
Scott Lucas was born in Arlington, Texas, to Richard and Becky Lucas. He lived mostly in Arlington before moving to Austin, where he graduated from The University of Texas. Scott works for Austin Valuation Consultants, Ltd., and has published several boring articles about real estate appraisal and environmental contamination. He makes a swell margarita and refuses to run longer than ten kilometres.
Eleanor grew up watching the AAA Mudhens in Toledo, Ohio. A loyal Ranger fan since 1979, she works "behind the scenes" at the Newberg Report.
Opening Day is 4/6/2015 on the road against the Athletics