I slept through the night but woke up exhausted.
I blame this bizarre dream I had. The Rangers were playing the only game on the schedule, for the first time since Game 7 against St. Louis, and Matt Harrison started and lost his command, just like he did in Game 7 against St. Louis, and the Rangers scored just two runs on six hits, like they did in Game 7 against St. Louis, with both of their runs and half of their hits coming in one inning, just like Game 7 against St. Louis, and their long reliever was asked for some reason to get critical outs even with no game the following day, just like Game 7 against St. Louis, and Nelson Cruz’s defense, no, wait, that was a different game against St. Louis, and they were hammered just as badly, only this time it was against the Houston Astros, which was nothing like Game 7 against St. Louis.
I also dreamed that my second favorite Ranger ever, when filling out his “What I Did in San Antonio” entry, talked about the numbers eight and 10 and $120,000,000 and $131,275,000 and 2022 and used all the vocabulary words his advisor likes, including “potential” and “opt-out,” and a couple he’d mentioned once or twice himself to his advisor, like “Jered Weaver” and “Carlos Gonzalez” and “Andruw Jones,” and speaking of Jones, somehow a hazy thing about Jurickson Profar snuck into the dream, and there was Ian Kinsler, too, but I woke up before I could figure out what was going on there, and speaking of Kinsler, there was also a flash in my dream of the greatest defensive play in Texas Rangers history, from Game 2 against St. Louis.
In my dream, the New York Yankees were very sad and the Los Angeles Dodgers were very sad because they have aging, highly compensated shortstops whose contracts expire exactly when my second favorite Ranger ever’s contract expires and they like to spend lots of money on baseball players, and Scott Boras was sad for the same reason, and I was sad, too, less and less so because of the slam-dunk-is-two-points game against the Houston Astros but more and more because Ben & Skin wouldn’t be around (yet) to talk about this Elvis Andrus stuff on the air, and sometimes the things you dream about during sleep aren’t cruel April Fools jokes, and maybe they weren’t dreams at all.
The Texas Rangers started the 2013 season winless last night, and it’s going to go down as perhaps the greatest Opening Day this franchise has had.
It is, it is.